Introducing Carbon Liberation Technology
The base authoritarian instincts of the lunatic Green Overlords are revealed in their relentless desire for control. From what you drive, to where your Salmon comes from, to whether or not you can have straws and how you bag your groceries. Pick a thing and a parade of witless fools is trying to control it. So of course they think something as monstrous as “Carbon Capture” is naturally the way to go. Capture. Imprison. Control. These are the pursuits of mediocrities and little minds.
Here at morecarbon.org we believe in freedom, and abundance, and in doing Good. To us Carbon Capture is not only bizarre and self evidently stupid and pointless, it’s actually evil. We cannot rest knowing that somewhere in the world, Carbon is being unjustly imprisoned (and probably tortured) by the agents of the Green Mob.
So, fresh from the runaway success of our 5 Engine Vehicle, our engineers have worked on our technology to offset the harm of “Carbon Capture”. We have perfected and proudly introduce our patented “Carbon Liberation Technology”
Our technology has the opposite effect of “Carbon Capture.” It doesn’t constrain and imprison, it frees Carbon, magnifies its emissions and amplifies its effect. It can be easily retrofitted to any industrial setting for immediate beneficial effect. Not only is industrial output increased, work areas are cleaner as well since Carbon Liberation Technology causes more carbon to be emitted into the atmosphere to perform its beneficial effect of feeding plants and preventing ice ages.
In conservative numbers, Carbon Liberation Technology:
Increases productivty by 15%
Increases powerplant generation by 40%
Results in 480% emissions increase from the same amount of fuel
It pays for itself, install in minutes, it’s offered At Cost. We did not create this to make money but to make the world a better place for all of humanity.
Don't let the eco-extremists win. The future they offer is one of scarcity, inefficiency, and shivering in the dark (though not them of course, they’ll need to jet around the world eating good food to make sure you can’t do the same)
Carbon Liberation Technology is our weapon against a future of frozen food shortages and bicycle commutes. Embrace abundance, embrace freedom, embrace Carbon Liberation Technology. It's the only way to save humanity from a future powered by kale smoothies and wishful thinking.